This Muslim I was working with on a tower scaffolding lost his footing and slipped, I managed to grab his hand as he was dangling 150 feet in the air. "Please, please, " he pleaded, "don't let me drop, " "Will you eat my bacon sandwich if I pull you up? " I asked, "Yes, yes, of course I will, " he said. So I let him go, I'm not having a fucking Muslim steal my breakfast.
Pakistani Kimjongreject 🥇 🥉 (99) · 14-12-2025 1542"Do you remember that row twenty years ago when we sat down and wrote down each others faults?" I said to my wife. "Oh God yes, I still have mine somewhere, " she said with a giggle. "I've finished, " I replied.
Wife Kimjongreject 🥇 🥉 (99) · 15-12-2025 1000I rang Rochdale A.F.C about a place for my wheelchair bound wife at the ground. "Well I think she'll be ok, " I was told, "but she'll probably have to play in goal. "
Disability Kimjongreject 🥇 🥉 (99) · 15-12-2025 0959I got up this morning and my wife was sat under the tree stark naked with her legs wide open, "Come get your Christmas present, " she said. "Can you take it back tomorrow and get me a smaller size?" I asked.
Wife Kimjongreject 🥇 🥉 (99) · 15-12-2025 0958My wife came running in from the garden screaming, "A SNAKE, A SNAKE. " So I quickly went out to have a look, "Whats seventeen plus thirty two? " I shouted at it. "Forty nine, " the snake hissed back. "It's ok, " I shouted to my wife, it's not poisonous, it's only an adder. "
Dad Jokes Kimjongreject 🥇 🥉 (99) · 15-12-2025 0957Why don't Muslims drink alcohol? Because they're already shitfaced.
Muslim ianwatkins 🥉 🥈 🥈 (128) · 14-12-2025 2305China to re-educate Muslim men. "First we'll teach them how to use soap and water, then we'll set about this shit they believe in, " a government spokesman commented.
Muslim Kimjongreject 🥇 🥉 (99) · 14-12-2025 1541"You play with that bloody acoustic guitar more than you play with me, " moaned my wife. "Yes, " I replied, "It's better shaped, sounds nicer, and the hole's not as big. "
Sexist Kimjongreject 🥇 🥉 (99) · 15-12-2025 0959My mate phoned me and asked what I was doing. "Probably failing my driving test," I replied.
Motoring Stallion 🥇 🥉 (123) · 15-12-2025 0645I was in a train carriage when a Muslim opened his jacket and showed his suicide vest, "Allau Akbar," he shouted. "Hang on a moment son, " I said to him,"you really don't want to do this. Do you see this hairy fat spotty greasy smelly girl stood next to me?" "Yes, " he said, "so what?" "This is my daughter," I replied, "and she's a virgin. "
Dark Kimjongreject 🥇 🥉 (99) · 14-12-2025 1539"My body is like a temple, " said my sister. "Are you sure you don't mean a Mosque with the amount of Muslims you've had in it?" I replied.
Sexist Kimjongreject 🥇 🥉 (99) · 14-12-2025 1538My wife kicked me out last night for being drunk and "out of control." Fucking pathetic allowing women to be bouncers anyway.
Adult garry6291 (23) · 14-12-2025 1532